Keepin’ it real: Eliza enjoys the ‘50s-style deli feel of the Paraquet, complete with Coca-Cola in a glass bottle.
Keepin’ it real: Eliza enjoys the ‘50s-style deli feel of the Paraquet, complete with Coca-Cola in a glass bottle.

Looking for somewhere to take the kids for a bite? Who’s going to give you a more honest, bite-sized review than a 10-year-old? Eliza Olander, from St David’s, is a student at St George’s Prep. 

By Eliza Olander

With a little help from Uncle Tony

Location: Paraquet, South Shore, Paget 

First impressions: Was it the ‘50s or ‘60s when they had tables and chairs like this [Formica tops, chrome bar stools] and the Coca-Cola glass bottles, not the plastic ones? A couple of month ago I was watching a movie called Team Beach and there was a restaurant called Big Mommas that was just like this. It was very cool. The only thing is, this isn’t a bikers’ and surfers’ joint. 

Drink: Coca-cola [from a small, glass bottle] — $2.50

Main course: Slider trio (fish cake, chicken, beef) $14.25, with fries $3.85. 

The fish cake is okay but maybe has a bit too much salt. I love it that the bread doesn’t have a very thick texture — it’s fluffy. I think it was made here. 

I would say the fries are not much different to other places but they’re good.

The barbecue chicken slider is yummy. I can tell they make their barbecue sauce here — it’s delicious. The bread is toasted and they seasoned the chicken with a little pepper. Nice and crunchy, just how I like my chicken — this one is really fantastic.

[Slider three: beef with cheese]. The sauce [honey dijon] is delicious. I must say, uncle, it’s a very delicious burger.

Portion size: There are three burgers so what do you expect? I really think they should make them a bit smaller. It’s nice to have fries but I agree with all the people who tell you [ie feedback from readers] that we shouldn’t really be getting side orders. It’s too much food.

Dessert: Chocolate milkshake, $6.75. It is fantastic — very creamy. Better than at Speciality? I can’t tell the difference —  they are both fantastic.

Service: They are not grumpy so I would say they are kind to you. You’re not expecting a man to go overboard — you know what I mean?

Overall impressions: I think we need more  places like this in Bermuda because even at fancier places, they don’t make their own sauces and bread [like they do here]. It’s not fancy but they sure make a big effort.